2011

i'll be:


somebody else.
with someone else.
somewhere else.

my wish list 2010

1. DSLR :)
2. new laptop
3. iPhone (para isa nalang ang phone at iPod lololol)
4. rubber shoes (yung pwedeng pang-marathon)
5. badminton racket
6. watch (swear, i never had one in my entire life)
7. a tattoo on my ankle: 'la bella vita'
8. ...iisipin ko pa hehe





pero: pwede ring kahit LOVE LIFE nalang :)

it hurts like a brand new shoes

Dearest ***,

Let me start by saying what you’ve stopped me from feeling ever since you broke up with me-- Love.

At times, I’ve grown to hate you. You’re selfish and you’re weak.

You broke up with me because it was easier for you. It was the obvious choice and it will strip off all forms of guilt should you decide to be with someone else. Life is better that way.

And it is.

But how can you break up with me when you promised me that you’d always love me? And how the hell are you supposed to do that when you’re halfway across the world dating someone just so he can take the pain away?

You were supposed to make the more difficult choice. That’s what people in love do.

But you couldn’t, selfish as you were, you let me go because you thought that breaking up with me was the best thing to do.

Now you’re just unfair and sugar coating it with you being honest by telling me you met someone else. You implicitly told me to stop telling you that ‘I love you’ when that’s about the only real thing nowadays. You tell me we’re friends and then tell me that you met someone, as if that isn’t supposed to affect me.

Well, buddy, you tore and smashed my heart out with your little piece of news.

But hey, you always do that.

Meanwhile, what am I supposed to say or do?

Am I supposed to say that I’m happy for you?

I’m happy that you’ve forgotten me and moved on?

Yet, I still love you. Can someone tell me why?

I wake up and cry in the middle of the night whenever I’m awaken by my dreams of you. I think of you all the time when God knows I should be studying. My friends both here and back home tell me I’m being pathetic and that I should move on but I simply couldn’t.

It it’s true—and it probably is—it’s because I love you.

Fair’s fair. You’ve met someone. I’ve met someone too.

There’s this guy at work, ***, who’s absolutely cute and nice. He absolutely adores me and even confessed that he likes me. Then there’s this other guy from work named *** who kept on being there for me when I needed the most. He has become my superhero who has saved me numerous times from being either raped or bullied. And then there’s ***, a guy who did the musical with me—the musical I emailed you about but you never really paid attention too. Did I tell you we kissed? It sent shivers to my spine.

But ***, as nice and cute as he is, and I can’t be anything more than friends because that’s all I feel for him while ***, I have a suspicion that he’s straight and he just saves me because he feels sorry for me. As for ***, all the magic (even the kiss) was all acting.

But buddy, more importantly, I can’t be with anyone right now because I’d be lying if I told him that we could be anything more than what we are now.

Simply, because you’re still the one I love.

And I hate you for it.

--***



excerpts from:
whenboymeetsboy.blogspot.com

akin ka nalang, please? akin ka nalang :'(

this year i met someone special who i'll neverever forget. you've just been sooo kind from day one. baby, i love you & happy birthday! :]

bored? :P

let's hold hands and die together

...BANG!

mutual, not!

the saddest thing that can happen is when one falls in love while the other wants nothing more than friendship.

isa lang please? :(

PUTANG INA!

thank you
(:

absence makes the heart grows fonder

[to someone else]

:))
lololol

it's BIGGER than COFFEE :D

...brewing soon!

trinoma level 1
yay!

narinig mo na ba ang latest?

i dunno if it's:

a. TOO EARLY
b. TOO LATE

...for me to realize that i don't belong to the CORPORATE WORLD.

excuses.excuses.excuses

there are plenty of excuses for not doing so, and yet there are also plenty of ways to make it happen.

gossip.

a rumor is a rumor, until you put a name to a face.

fed UP.

how do you negotiate once you've offered everything, eh?

mukha.

my face is a transparent transmitter of every thought.

petite monde

associate with eagles and you'll be inspired to soar. mingle with turkeys and you may one day wind up as someone's dinner.

vertebrae

you gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be

i want to...

fall in love

as if i've never been.

hahahaha!
:)))

:]

let me go crazy over you. i know you hate that i always follow you but let me assure you that once im done, im not coming back and you'll miss me.

bio

*all time LOLer
*bigtime COULROPHOBIC
*sometimes INSANE
*fulltime LUNATIC
*partime INTROVERT
*most of the time EXTROVERT
*oftentimes MOODY
*lifetime BIPOLAR
*long time CAMERAWHORE
*onetime STUPID

buzzing bee :)

you might consider me flighty for changing careers so often. but, i contend that the key to professional happiness is asking yourself two simple questions every single day:

1. are you passionate about what you do?
2. and if not, what are you going to do instead?

^_^

eat.pray.love

was it artistic? don't creative people always suffer from depression because we're so supersensitive and special?

you can never be me and i can never be you, got it?!

i am very random, spontaneous and compulsive.
in just a snap i can evolve from a to z.

i am currently working for a telecommunications company at mandaluyong, oh sige wala ng patumpik-tumpik pa: DIGITEL as hr assistant.if you're a psychology graduate probably you'll want to be on my shoes. minsan okay, minsan hindi. HARDCORE RECRUITMENT with sidelines :)

i am about to take my master's at ateneo. believe it or not, pumasa ako sa evaluation. enrollment nalang XD

my future is sparkling so bright, kuno.

pero DI AKO MASAYA.

i'll have my last day on OCTOBER 1, yes i resigned for the nth time.
i won't be enrolling anymore.

sayang.
eh ayoko eh :P
ganun talaga.

i want be a barista.
i want to be a photographer.
i want to fall in love.
i want to be happy.

coño

after interviewing three coño boys from ateneo today, i've realized two things:

1. a lot is far more better than i am so,
2. i have to exert more effort

☺

tabula rasa

and i saw you again.
same place, we used to be at lololol
*yay* i felt like vomiting while i am in the middle of my spag dinner then i saw you, nabusog ako hahahaha!!!

seriously, i palpitated. for good a reason: i am OVER you.
you look oh so good, but i look better :D

august is <3
i am to start from a clean slate *yay*
i hope you don't bite hahaha kinda slow learner here :P
i am so recharged. (like hell hello? 9 f*cking months!!!)

'wag lang sana na naman maiinlababo. PATAY TAYO DYAN.

PS:

i promise to be active on blogging, for i have imaginary readers again.
i don't write/blog for you anyway.
it's a personal journal.
read it or not.
i don't care bwuahahahahaha!!!

night :))
:)

cou-wink-qee-dink-key

three times!
three times it is!

1. coffee shop
2. lrt
3. makati

out-of-sight;out-of-mind don't/doesn't apply.

can't complain, for i don't complain if i receive blessings.
i know it won't last. the question is: until when it would last.
i can't take it any longer.
i want to feel very liberated.
i want to explode.

you didn't change, any bit.
the same person that i would fall in love over and over again.
the same person that would never ever ever fall for me.

you're still you when i am no longer me.
i love you.
i love you so much.
i love you so much and it hurts me.

patience it is.
for i am waiting for the right time to come.
and i'll be back.
with all smiles.

random

i didn't forsee that after graduation i'll struggle.
i am confident.
i am achiever.
i belong to the upper 1/4 of my kind.
i am younger that they are.

well, i guess because i fell in love.
on a right time, with the wrong reasons and for the wrong person.
i am a first timer.
i don't afford to be involved on trial and error for i am no longer a high school student.

i am more that willing to give everything and i am sure you're also more than willing to accept everything. but, i am pretty sure that you are not willing to return even anything.

i am stagnant, five months since then.
calculating everything yoy+me= 2 months.
it's not even mutual.

wala naman pala sa haba yun.
akala ko dati mas mahaba, mas masakit.
no guarantee.
feelings were invested.
this is the price to pay for forcing somthing.

haven't since you for ages.
i saw you on the train.
it was odd.
i still love you, i still do.
it hurts. it really does hurt.

i'm looking forward laughing outloud so hard because of this sick things.
it sucks! it really do.
part of growing up.

akala ko masasanay ako.
akala ko lang pala :P

the school boy (what actually happens right after college graduations?)

i miss wearing my white polo baring, black slacks, back shoes, back pack/mail man bag and receiving my 250php baon :)

it's been a year since i graduated from college, yay!
nowadays, it's a privilledge to have college diploma.
i know i've been very idealistic and preoccupied that i am a college graduate.

i took every chances that come my way. i race. dapat mas mauna akong magkawork than anyone else. then, i struugled.

i got employed early june. pretty cool, huh? for 5 months it turned my life upside down. i laugh, cried, smiled, frowned and fell in love.

it's a heaven and hell on earth :)

after a year?
what really happened to me?
ouch.
i can't brag anything.
i know i'm ain't that fresh compare to the fresh graduate.
but, we share the same sentiments.
we both struggle.

the constellation

last year it was ate, 7 months ago it was kuya and today it's lola. have a safe trip lowla! say my hi to the obamas :)

we've waited long years for this day to come. petitioning is damn so need of patience.
after lola passed the consul's interview, before we knew it all bags were packed.

it's so sad letting a family member leave the house. para kaming nakatira sa bahay ni kuya. 7 kaming housemates. si lola, si nanay, si tatay, si ate wena, si kuya romel, ako at si bebe. we are not waiting for the big night to arrive kasi wala nmn :P and now it's down to the 3 of us: ako, si bebe and si nanay.

before i enter college, tatay decided to left the house para mag stay sa bulacan. 3 hours papunta at 3 hours pauwi, araw-araw.

last year, it was ate wena. that's her dream. sabi nga ni tatay: ganun talaga. walang mangyayari if forever din tayong magsasama-sama. may kanya-kanyang pangarap ang mga anak na atin, sadly di tayo kasama sa lahat ng pangarap nila. she trying her luck at canada.

7 months ago, it was kuya romel's time. same reason with tatay, malayo. araw-araw, nakakapagod. he'll leave the house tulog kami, pagdating nya tulog na kami hehe.. less cost, less energy exerted din. malayo ang bangko sentral ah. saka, he's old enough to live like an independent bachelor. kaya nmn na niya, bakit hindi?

then, today it's lola's time. napaka-candid pa din ni lola. parang wala lang. i know deep inside pangrap nya din yun. it's never too late :)united states of america

dati-rati nagrereklamo ako.
ansikip naman ng bahay natin.
ang init naman ng bahay natin.
andami namang tao sa bahay natin.
ang ingay naman sa bahay natin.

well, wish granted.

i look forward na umuwi ng bahay na mairereklamo ko ulit ang sandamakmak na reklamo kong hindi ko na mairereklamo ngayon.

chuckie's love story. :]

Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick



Well I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never ever forget
These images

Well I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do



I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine



Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

[Chorus]

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

still hurts like a brand new shoes
four loooong months
and i'm ready
out-of-sight;out-of-mind
happier
better
wiser


no regrets; just lessons
happiest days of my life after all
loneliest days, indeed.
falling in love, so easy.
falling out of love, i don't know. ask them.

time.time.time
:)

waking up, sobbing = so true.
haha!
been there, done that.
i'm lucky i have friends.
i can't blame anyone, including you.
and i still love you

...and it ends there.

the twist

sabi na sa'yo eh =P
i got a call/txt from my latest application's boss.

"I need to talk 2 u, pls get ready i'll be calling u in 20 mins.

"

then....

another text message:

"I called your haus 2log ka pa. Cge mamayang 10 am nalang. Thank u."

KAMOTE, DI BA?

parang gusto kong ma-deactivate sa mundo hehe

then, finally. presto.

"were u able to think about it? Offer is **k 4a start and then 6mons we shall evaluate."

then i replied:

Good Morning, Ma'am. Yes, I am able to think about it. I think you're right, I may not belng to operations setting. And the new offer is much better. I am very appreciative about it. Just let me know when should I report and settle everything. Thanks!"

then, here comes the phone call:

"Are you accepting the offer or not?"

*yay*

pray for me :)

consuelo de bobo

consuelo de bobo = fool's comfort.

tipong liglig na liglig sa papuri at bigla kang ibabagsak mula sa 47th floor ng rcbc tower sa makati.

*buts and ifs*

isang napakalaking badtrip. err =/

i had my my final interview early this morning somewhere near ortigas. december pa ako nag-apply, march na. ano na? mi ultimo bummer ako. =P so, feeling ko at feeling nila na siguro feeling mo din eh okay na. formality nalang blah blah blah

as usual, i'm the youngest among the applicants. i unleashed the highly extrovert me to mingle with my competitors. (na accidentally, eh nakasabay ko pa dati yung isa for other co.'s interview.)

so to make the story short and more sensible. we had a sort of panel interview (the other way around) 3 interviewees; 1 interviewer.

shooot!

pag-tingin sa akin:

1. are you serious,you're applying?
2. what is management?
3. classify your social class?
4. how much allowance do you get?
5. do you consider yourself a spoiled brat?

after 15 minutes....

both of you may now go. congratulations! we'll schedule your training. mr. reyes remain.

wtf?!

then, here she goes...

you know what, i like you. blah blah blah

you have the face for marketing. you smile a lot. you have the charm. you have the presence. but...

...and it ends there.

i didn't got the job that i've waited for like 5 months?!. :P
hahaha!

blast from the past

try out reading my old blogs.
mga kalokohan/ka-emohan/kaartehan from the past hehe :)

my million dollar ideas

My favorite blog entries:

Oct 15 - pumapatak na naman ang YOU-Lan
Sep 20 - i-THINK!
Jul 15 - ...masakit ba talaga kapag pers taym?
Jun 29 - DYSPRAXIA: clumsiness is next to laughterness
Jun 28 - naghahanap ka ba ng trabaho?
May 30 - this is weird.
May 29 - usapang softdrinks
May 26 - the sweetest love letter i've ever received
May 26 - shawt awts (collections of shout outs haha)
May 26 - one word. ten letters. three syllables. english
May 18 - the unwanted visitor
May 15 - a sad ending.
May 11 - Wie fotogen sind Sie?
May 8 - who kidnapped my siblings?
May 7 - *c-h-a-n-g-e-s*
May 5 - words of wisdom from a job hunter
Apr 24 - en medias res
Mar 3 - twists and turns
Jan 4 - two-when-tea CONFESSIONS
Jan 1 - emong: the HOTTEST L-O-L-O (yikes!)
Dec 28 - taym pers
Dec 26 - post christmas syndrome
Dec 24 - how can you face your problem, if the problem is your face?
Dec 18 - magkano ang gutom mo?
Dec 13 - "bayad po! ...isang estudyante"
Dec 10 - suuuper EMOng. (emo no more) lol
Dec 7 - i tot i taw a putty tat
Nov 30 - stephenie meyer's *twilight* rarr
Nov 25 - when i grow up
Nov 12 - talking about look-a-likes

here's the link: http://raingauge.multiply.com/journal

raingauge.multiply.com

ciao!

kick off

*the opening salvo*

i missed you, my bestfriend: *blogging*
it's been quiet a looooong time haha!
i promise, not to let go of you. itaga mo yan sa bato (sabi nga nila :P)

am ain't born talker/speaker/whatsoever/whateveryoucallit
for i am a patient LISTENER.

so let the BLOGGING a.) begin b.) begins